Archive for the 'blogging' Category

“Blocking” as an antidote to hypocrisy

November 9, 2011

I am perfectly capable of being a hypocrite and not following through on my values using my own personal navigational system, but as Gita (the person I go to who tells me what I don’t want to hear) says, if we have enough willingness (to serve the greater good), we get blocked.

I think that may be going on with how I can’t make use of the invitation from the NYTimes to participate in their “Trusted Commenter” program.  It’s predicated on having a Facebook account, and I don’t have one.  The hypocrisy, or at least the muddled  values, would be that I see my participation in submitting comments on line as kind of a donation tossed in from the peanut gallery and without expectations of response.  I say what I feel moved to say, and if someone wants to post it and others to read it, great.  But I have the sense that getting too wrapped up in responses and my standing in the community will interfere with my primary focus on the substance of my comments, which come to me in a particular way.  So, I’m thinking that I’m probably better off without the “Trusted Commenter” status.

This interpretation came to me because I’ve also been struggling with the sense that some people think that not only should I clean up my prose and improve my writing, through writing things up in other computer formats or revising more, for example, but I should also clean up my blog and improve my presence on line.  When I don’t want to do something, I do consider the “maybe it’s the very thing I should be doing” possibility.  I’ve been having trouble distinguishing mundane discomfort with blogging issues from grander issues of what’s my life supposed to be about.

Yesterday it came to me that I should put aside trying to make decisions about this stuff and just do some yardwork that needs to get done.  The weather was beautiful.   And I felt so much more like me, instead of somebody else’s version of me that I’m not very good at, afterwards.  (Still have more to do in the yard, but that seems to be a constant.)  I honestly don’t really know what I’m supposed to be doing or not doing a lot of the time, especially when other people try, however well-intentioned, to let me know what they might prefer I do.  There are times when someone else’s input does result in progress for me.  About six months ago, Gita gently urged me to let go of the collaborative model I’ve had for decades of my role in producing something written and to do it independently, for example.  But after the yardwork, I felt again the flow I identify with being in the right place — my mental processes operated better.  I feel the opposite when I spend a lot of time trying to understand computer software.

So, I’m going to take the Facebook obstacle to my being able to accept the NYTimes invitation as my less helpful inclinations being blocked by other forces so that my greater good gets served despite my ego’s sometimes inconsistent desires.  Jury’s still out on what to do about this blog.



Loyal reader to “The Loyal Opposition”

November 2, 2011

I am thrilled to get to read this new blog by Andrew Rosenthal, funky avatar and all.  Actually, I’ve wanted to use a stylized avatar like that myself, only the best I could come up with was a drawing  my younger son made of me when he was about four (which I use on the PBS NewsHour website — I left out the “To Mom” inscription:  ).  I like Andy (I hope I got that right) Rosenthal’s voice.  Interesting that so far I have been closed out of posting a comment on it.  Something to ruminate on.

Selecting tomatoes

September 28, 2011

One of my current projects is to deal with what I’ve come to suspect is a hidden assumption on my part that everyone should be (at least, more) like me.

So, I’m in the supermarket with the son who lives with me (the younger), and he’s complaining that he can’t find any tomatoes that don’t have soft spots or moldy spots, etc.  He suggests I take a look while he does the deli counter thing, and I go off and see exactly what he means, and then ask for some (spiritual) help picking out tomatoes from this unpromising looking bunch, and I find my hand guided through the heap and I actually find fairly quickly three that are fine.  Jordan’s happy (and surprised), and no, he doesn’t want to know how I found them, he is clear about letting me know.

I want to sell him on the idea that he too can find good produce if he’d just cultivate his spiritual life.  But I also know he doesn’t want to hear about it — he’ll put on a British accent and start quoting dialogue about The Force, at best, if I don’t let it alone.  So, I realize I need to learn to be more respectful of other people’s ways of living their lives, even if I think it would make mine easier if they would spend more time communicating with the universe at large, and figure out why I’m so keen to proselytize, or whatever it is I want to do.

With some people, the answer to this “why” is that it’s because they want me to do stuff I know is just their particular idea, and I am quite sure that if they consulted beyond their reasoning, they’d come to a different understanding — I think we would get on the same page if that page were what we hear from the universe.  With other people, it’s because I have a difficult time watching them suffer.  And with a set that includes some members of these other groups, it’s that I think they would do even better at what they already do well if they were firing on all cylinders, so to speak.

But I think all of these things reflect my challenge to recognize what I do in my life as just that, what I happen to do in my life.  Writing blog posts, I think, has made me more inclined to discuss it than I otherwise would, or maybe should, do.  Maybe I should declare a moratorium on blog posts about my spiritual life.  I’ve thought of this blog as a way of keeping myself from going on about spiritual things so much in other contexts on the web.  But maybe I should make this blog about something else, and avoid writing about my own spiritual stuff altogether.

(My) father and son

September 25, 2011

My older son surprised me yesterday by expressing an interest in reading this blog.  Even more surprising to me was that he sounded exactly like my dad does when he expresses the same thing.

Having them both do it has provided me with an opportunity to “compare and contrast” that maybe helps me understand my surprise:  I think it arises because I had hitherto had the impression that neither of them was particularly interested in hearing more of what I might have to say, and for not altogether different reasons (regarding me as lame parent or inept child, respectively).

I’m supposed to select for Jonas a couple of posts for him to read.  Maybe I should do the same for my dad, but I’m finding that prospect a little more challenging.

More reverberations

August 2, 2011

So I post the previous post, and the fine support at WordPress asks, in the screen that was generated by the act of posting, which includes suggestions for future posts,

Have you ever received an amusing email, text, or voicemail message not intended for you?

Not quite the same thing as receiving a newsletter email, but close enough.  (The suggestions vary in this response screen, and I’ve never seen that one before.)  I like the feeling of being in a gentle house of mirrors.