Shoe on the other foot

October 7, 2013

The other part of learning from having a relationship fall apart unexpectedly over a flaw one was not aware of (see previous post) I think comes when we find ourselves playing the opposing role ourselves, in another relationship.  I like to think that when I have done this, I have acted “for (legitimate) cause” (that the other person has done something objectively harmful and that I am justified in trying to protect myself from).  But I also know that the other person may not see it that way, that people who routinely hurt others out of an inability to go through the process of feeling empathy, may themselves feel hurt from others’ conduct — the callousness goes only one way.  I try to be considerate, but I’m also not going to martyr myself for somebody else.

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