Window cleaning

October 20, 2012

The window panes in my house sorely need to be cleaned.   I will probably at some point hire someone to help me deal with it; Jordan doesn’t believe housekeeping is necessary,* I don’t think I can do it myself (this house has, I think, something like 13 windows on the first floor, 15 on the second, 4 on the third, 5 in the basement, 3 door panels, and a stained glass window, the older windows have “issues,” and even on stools and small ladders, I have trouble reaching the tops), and Jonas is not available.

In the meantime, I have noticed that I can see more clearly through the screens.  With open spaces, residue doesn’t build up.  I like that as a metaphor for what happens with us depending on how we interface with the world.  The more open we are, the fewer unhelpful encrustations we accumulate, I think.

I sometimes have thought of these encrustations as “our human crap,” but I am working now on feeling more compassionate towards humanness, towards flaws.  It has become clearer to me that finding a balance between our ego-driven selves needed to navigate the material world and our greater selves needed to harmonize with the world at large is an important task.  I guess at this stage I would see myself trying to find what ego tools I can use which result in the least damage to my spiritual connection and to others while allowing me to deal with this world effectively.

*How much of this is depression and how much of it will respond helpfully to pressure or encouragement is not clear to me.  My sense and experience are that I can get him to do a limited number of limited tasks, but/and, if I trip the “overwhelmed” wire, which on him is rather low, he will shut down (and not just about the task but about the rest of his life, too).  So I’ve learned to try to ask for something close to what he seems able to tolerate.  Raking the back lawn with a friend of his who was visiting yesterday worked out fine, for example, although he did ask me to bring him water.

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